I was and am a successful breastfeeding mother!

I'm very excited that Zadie and I were included in a kellymom.com article about the different faces of breastfeeding.

When you think of breastfeeding, it's usually a mom with a baby on her breast, but that's not always the case.  Zadie couldn't even drink from a bottle very well, so direct nursing was out of the picture.  Not only did her cleft palate make forming a seal in order to suck a bottle impossible, her small chin and tongue falling on her airway made everything even more difficult.

I did try to nurse her once, but she and I were too stressed out and I decided that it wasn't that important.  What was important to me was that she got what she needed, however she got it. We attempted feeding her orally every day, just about every feeding, using a Haberman, or Special Needs Feeder.  It has a special nipple which allowed us to squeeze the milk into her mouth while she tried to suck.  We only tried for 30 minutes at a time, because after that, we were told that she would be expending too much energy.  She was primarily tube fed for her first year.  Once her palate was repaired when she was 11 months old, she really got much better at drinking.  

I exclusively pumped for her for 18 months, and the majority of her nutrition for those 18 months was breast milk.  She was eating very little in the way of solids, but I was continually reassured (by doctors and nutritionists) that my milk was all she needed at that age.  We did transition to formula, with plans to further transition to a blenderized diet, but luckily for everyone, her solid food intake increased.

Flash forward to today, and I'm successfully nursing Zadie's 8 month old little sister, Beatrix!

Exclusively Pumping

It has been quiet around here, so I thought I'd write about something that is a big part of my life.  With Zadie's birthday came an anniversary for me.  I have been exclusively pumping breastmilk for Zadie for a full year.  I never really intended to be still doing it a year later.  I pumped for a short while with Jonathan, but didn't really know what I was doing and didn't seek out any support, so it didn't last long.

Since I had so much amniotic fluid while pregnant with Zadie, and they didn't know why, the doctor was concerned about a possible tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF).  Because of this, it was recommended that Zadie be bottle fed a small amount of water before any breastmilk was fed to her.  The thinking was that if there was a TEF, and fluid got into her lungs, it would be better that it be water and not milk.  Therefore, while we were waiting for Zadie to be brought to my room, they attempted to feed her some water from a bottle and it didn't go well and she was sent off to the NICU.

Since she wasn't able to drink from a bottle properly, it was clear that breastfeeding was not possible, at least not at that point.  Between Zadie's cleft palate and small chin, she couldn't form a seal with which to suck properly.  Even with specially made bottles which allowed us to squeeze milk into her mouth, she never was able to drink much from a bottle.  So, the first night of Zadie's life, I requested a pump from my nurse and the rest is history.

My faithful companion

The milk kept flowing, so I just kept pumping.  I rented the hospital pump because I didn't know how long I'd stick with it, and I was hoping that insurance would pay for something.  Insurance didn't pay for anything, and I still have the blasted hospital pump!  Somewhere along the way, I found a wonderful Facebook group for other moms like me who don't nurse directly, but pump exclusively.  Without those girls, I can't say for sure if I would have made it this long, still being able to provide 100% of Zadie's milk intake.

I had in my head one year as my goal.  I looked forward to "hanging up the horns."  I was counting down the months.  Then, it occurred to me - Zadie doesn't eat like a typical child, so she won't be just moving on to solids and cow's milk like a typical child.  That was when I started thinking about the blenderized diet.  I couldn't imagine switching to a formula after all these months of pumping.  That's also when I realized that I wouldn't be hanging up the horns when Zadie turned 1.

We're working on Zadie's eating, and she's actually doing really well.  I think the palate surgery made a huge difference in her ability to form a seal and she sucks pretty well and enthusiastically from a sippy cup.  In fact, over the past few days, there have been several meals where we didn't have to hook her up to the tube at all!  This is VERY exciting.

She has an appointment with the feeding clinic next week, and I'm going to make an appointment to meet with a nutritionist, but I see the end in sight to my pumping career.  I only pump twice a day for about a half hour each time now, but I'm looking forward to having an extra hour a day!

The blenderized diet.

Since Zadie is getting close to turning 1 (crazy!), I've been thinking about what she'll be "eating" when breastmilk alone is no longer enough for her. Most people who are tube fed are fed formula, and I'm really not crazy about the idea of switching Zadie to formula after all my hard work pumping for the last 10 1/2 months.  I thought I could just puree up real food and put it through her tube (while still working to get her to eat orally).  Apparently, there is something called the blenderized diet, which is pretty much what I was imagining.  And apparently, it's sort of crazy talk in the medical world.  I brought up the idea to the nurse practitioner at Zadie's feeding clinic, and she was very discouraging.  The biggest thing she kept mentioning was how time consuming it would be.  That seems like a silly reason not to do something, if it's something that's good for her.

So I started looking into it more and I found out that it not a common practice, but every parent who uses it swears by it.  A lot of moms whose children were previously formula fed and then moved to the blenderized diet said it was the best thing to happen to their children.  A lot also said that their children were more interested in EATING real food once they had real food through the tube.

One thing I learned was that I needed a good blender.  It's doable with a standard household blender, but a professional grade blender makes things easier and faster.  I emailed the two big blender makers, Blendtec and Vitamix.  I had heard that they both offered a medical discount (their blenders run about $500-$600!) and also donated blenders regularly to tube fed people.  Within a day of emailing Blendtec's customer service, and telling them Zadie's story, I was informed that Blendtec was donating a blender to us!

I've been very excited about this blender's arrival, and BJ's been making fun of me (will he be making fun of me when I am able to make smoothies and shakes and daiquiris?  I don't think so).  Well, it arrived today and without even reading the book, I pureed up some avocados for Zadie.  I fed some to her by spoon, and she did ok with it.  A bunch came out her nose, which is something I won't miss after she has her palate repaired!  Whatever she didn't eat, I blended up some more and put it in with her milk through her feeding tube.  This is very exciting, and while we have a ways to go, I am less anxious about her moving away from breastmilk.  And I'm getting excited to quit pumping soon!